MY HEN PECKING WIFE

i’ve got a perpetual ring in my head, not from aches
but from the lead she shoots from her double barrel mouth

“you’re not ashamed of yourself,” so she says
‘your meit waif dey tai hollandis for her waist
your waif, common tye and dye kampala she no tai
which kain husband you be?
Which kain laif be dis? Oh what a waste!

Chop money you no drop, yu wan chop goat meat
si ewu, you no dey reason? In fact yu be ewu!

Dear Ifeoma, my one and only nwanyi oma
cut me some slack, no be for better and worse yu promise for church?
Why yu wan use tori kill me? Abeg why you dey slack?

You don forget Mr Biggs chicken?
Yu don forget how yu dey chop, chop n clean mouth?
Yu don forget when i dey baf yu with gift every other day, Val, even Christmas?

Now things get as e be, yu no let me rest
na soso para yu dey para, yu dey run mouth laik motor wey no get breik
you no dey taya? abeg give me a break !

Laik sineik wey don old, your skin don fall komot, your white Angel facade don turn black, yu don show face!

I rushed in thinking I knew her oh lord save me,
She’s driving me crazy, Baba God why me?

Written by: SAm dE POet

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