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HOW I BAKE MY DAILY BREAD (a poem by Joseph Olamide Babalola )

Read Time:2 Minute, 15 Second
Every morning I wake up in a kitchen
at the crossroads of my body and spirit
I’m expected to make something of my day
a delicacy, maybe, or an atomic bomb?
I’m supposed to know the path to tread
I hear that strange question outfacing me:
‘where do you see yourself in five years?’
I blank out—how do I go about that?
‘don’t answer,’ I’d hear, ‘just bake it’
bake it, really? with these untrained hands?

a silent fear would latch on my heart
as the actual ‘what’ and ‘how’ evade me
but no one listens—I must be babbling
I hear that life happens to us, it just does 
so I find myself every dawn, yawning
somehow equipped with unknown recipes
for every relationship I’m to enter and exit
for every cause I’m to believe in and fight for
I’m always in a hive here, my head crowded
the bees are home, buzzing with life

since my hands must fashion out something
I launch my day mixing desires in the same 
bowl with uncertainties, kneading them soft
on the intricate board of complexities
oh, and life may add two teaspoons of denial
or of approval, and on a careless morning 
I may doze off as my oven burns itself 
the resultant loaf smells of wreck, trash-worthy
it breaks me, plunging me back into the
same old struggle of making my day count

sometimes I bake an aspect of my life 
into a successful cake worth celebrating
this happened the first time my father 
beamed and said he was proud of me
I became an inspiration for other humans
but then, I forget to diligently take notice
that each time the world laughs with me 
it becomes a clue, that the coin is tossed
that I may be getting the head now 
but the tail is a few tosses away

sometimes I can’t but bake sorrows
in oblivion, or find them pre-baked
all it takes are series of blind decisions 
as I follow just the sight of my eyes
neglecting the still small voice within 
then when I prepare a table stocked full
and sit in readiness for a grand feast
the first deep bite poisons my tongue
the taste of sadness—only hope remains 
to breathe on, to bake better another day

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